Baby boom

One of my favourite things about being in a community church is welcoming new babies. It's always a joy, but just lately there have been quite a few extra special ones, and it's been so moving watching people light up when they realise the new babies have arrived at the meeting for the first time - lots of cuddles all round, lots of love and encouragements to the new 'big brothers or sisters', lots of wonder at babies' teeny feet and perfect little heads etc etc - we can't get enough of it! The way time flies... the way we can't remember anyone being so small before... the way they look like their parents....it's as if it's a brand new concept each time!

I am really proud of church during these times - meal rotas kick in and boy do they hit the spot. I remember being on the receiving end myself - we'd be almost hopping up and down with excitement waiting to see what was for dinner. And it was delivered by someone who was excited for us and gave us yet more attention as well as the meal! Fabulous. There's nothing like the ravenous hunger of a new mum, and to have a full meal without having had to cook it, well it was perfect. Sitting amongst piles of washing, with bleary eyes and a body that ached from head to toe, I tucked in and I loved it. I had a lot of wine too (for medicinal purposes).

I think in church these babies have the most enormous extended family but they don't know it yet. I can't wait to see them grow up and to see what they add to the mix. But for now, welcome little babes; you are already a part of us and we couldn't be happier to have you.

The Cake

It's that time of year again - rolling out the ready-made icing on to different shaped layers of goo. Why do we do it? In the Autumn I was in the baking aisle, highly stressed but unable to do anything but push onwards. Where were the long thin biscuity things that would make good axles for the wheels of a skateboard cake?? Where?? Sighing and groaning maybe a little too loudly, I became aware of another lady scanning the shelves. "What are you looking for?" I asked. "Ughhhh, something for googly eyes for Halloween" she replied. We then had quite a sisterly little moment looking together for green things. But the pupils had to be black, it was just the irises that needed to be green... would the child know? Would he care? Probably not. But we know! We care! She was one like me - not really in a competition with other mums but with herself.

The truth is I love it. It's one of the things I looked forward to about being a mum. Don't get me wrong, there's been tears over the years (no, not Colin's). Ridiculous I know, but true. But really I love it - I could plan parties til the cows come home, just because I like it, I have a flexible job so I can make time for it and it makes me happy, otherwise I wouldn't do it. What makes me giggle though is that when pictures of cakes appear on the interweb we all write "ooo you're a great mum!" based on a cake. I want to say "I can't comment on your motherliness but hey, you're a great cake decorator!"

What makes a great mum? I put it to the court that it has not much to do with icing sugar. Some mums are brilliant at going to the park (not me), some mums are brilliant at putting themselves last (not me), some mums don't bat an eyelid at vomit (not me!!), some mums are always on time (getting better at that), some mums are great at robotic dancing (oo! me! me!). Some have children with special needs who drain every ounce of life from them, so making a cake is an irrelevancy - who's telling them they're a "totally awesome mom"? (Sorry I've been looking at a lot of cakes made by American moms on the internet!).

They say it takes a village to raise a child. Well I think it takes a village to make a mum too. So thanks to Kellie for icing sugar lessons, Lynn for finding the ice cream cones in Tescos yesterday, Rachel H for the brainstorm, Maria for the pep talk, Bob for the advice on folding royal icing a year ago, Becky for the other pep talk (with a fry up so slightly better) ...and all this has been drawn upon this one afternoon just for The Cake. Imagine the input I've had on the bigger issues over the years, the stuff that really matters - now that's totally awesome!!

Happy New-ish Year!

OK OK I went quiet for a bit - it's not too difficult to guess why - we bit off more than we could chew last term. But chew it we did, and slowly, slowly swallowed it. (I'm not sure where this analogy has come from, and it's not that pleasant so I'll get on.)

So, as Evie says, we're "through with baby Jesus" . He's so last year. We're on to 'growing things' if you're in Reception class, 'birds' if you're in Year 3 and 'space' if you're getting on a bit and in Year 5. Yes, in school you get the luxury of a brand new topic every term. However in real life you find you're still catching up from last term. Us Nichols, we're still eating everything up from last term! We even ended up with chocolate spoons over Christmas. I think this invention neatly sums up the spirit of Christmas these days: "We can't possibly make do with normal spoons over Christmas!! We must have spoons of pure chocolate!!" (*clap clap* spoons magically appear, stage left). It is no great hardship to eat everything up of course, and we are soldiering on with the task. We will not be beaten until the very last chocolate button has gone.

In an effort to counterbalance all this chomping, hubs and I are going to go dancing tonight. Get ready Worthing, to receive the gift that is.... Nichols and Nichols Dance Troupe. It is time for us to give something back to the town. It has to be said we don't have a good track record with dancing, but we're way more mature than the days where I'd strop off because Col wouldn't stop shimmying or embellishing the moves the teacher told us. And Col's way more understanding than the days where he'd beg me incessantly to jump into his arms without any back up. What can possibly go wrong this time. It's jivey-cerocy-hipetty hoppy, it'll be marvellous, you wait.

And after that - ohhh the joy of perfect television: Mary Portas taking on the issue of bad service in shops in Britain. I can barely contain myself. It is one of my all time pet peeves - don't even get me started.....

Appendix 1: For more sensitive readers we wish to make it clear that in no way do we really consider Jesus to be 'last year' but very very present and relevant in all ways on all days.

Thumbs up for change

Last week was emotionally hectic.

Our lastborn started school - as you can see she was raring to go.

She believes she is one of the teachers rather than a member of 'Bluebells'. From the second day onwards she didn't even want me to go in with her but rather, dump her on the kerb nearby. (I refused of course, I like looking at her for as long as possible.)

On the same day I went back to school too. I have started an Art Foundation course. I am in way over my head. I have bought a Wonder Woman pencil case though - so I can intimidate all my arty student mates.

The next day Child A went on his first ever residential trip with school.

He took it like a man. They stayed up most of the night telling farty jokes and giggling in to their pillows.

On the same day, our youngest boy decided to have a birthday - how helpful. He turned 8. He got a Lamborghini which will have to last him until he buys his real one later. His life plan is this: Play drums with a christian band telling the whole world about Jesus. Play football for Chelsea, England and Worthing United in his spare time. Buy a Lamborghini with all the money he earns.

"Summer days, d-riftin' away.."

During my brief spell as a teacher I used to feel really sad when parents rolled their eyes and heaved great sighs of doom about the holidays. Well, now I have much more sympathy, especially if you need to sort childcare out – what a nightmare. It can be tricky if it rains, and it's hard if your children are a wide range of ages, but mine all tend to bumble along together for now, and the sun's out : so far so good.

Evie has made a 'cage' for a caterpillar by folding up a sheet of kitchen towel and securing it with a clothes peg and a hair clip. The boys have been setting fire to things, thanks to their dad teaching them how to burn stuff using a magnifying glass (thanks for that Col). They've coloured bricks in with chalk and they've written a rock song or two. We've been out and about a bit, but my favourite days are the least spectacular ones, when not much is going on but everyone's OK with it.

Years ago I was told you have to have a battle plan. (Linda McCanna) Here's mine:

1. I will not feel not feel intimidated by the amazing ‘National trust/bug hunt/football club/Legoland/family fun day/£100 down the drain’- type advertising

2. I will not give in to jealousy fueled by facebook statuses - everyone else isn't having way more fun than me with their incessant BBQ’s and trendy mates.

3. I will not feel pressured to get dressed unless it is absolutely necessary

My role model is Stacey, I think she's got the right idea:

M

3 I'

Growing pains

I paid my last cheque to The Sunshine Nursery today as Evie has left – boo hoo. What fun she’s had there. I remember chatting to Gill the manager when I was deciding to send Evie there, and she asked me if I minded if Evie got paint on her or got messy. I replied ‘That’s what being two is for isn’t it?’ and I knew then that we were on the same wavelength. I think that this sums Sunshine up – it’s all about children being children, not about looking swish and ticking boxes or whatever. Put simply, it looks like so much fun when you pick up your little one. Things you want to play with yourself – little plastic pigs and cows on a muddy puddle surrounded by squares of turf (how much fun is that?) - homemade painted paper bunting all around the garden; the long eared rabbit looking through the patio door from the lounge; special scones brought home in a special paper basket decorated with special flowers; play doh pizzas set out on plates; sunflowers and beans being watched and measured by intensive little farmers. It makes you a bit jealous really.

I can’t avoid mentioning the singing!! It’s like living in a musical. I haven’t been there for it but I’ve heard the overflow – ‘Five currant buns from the bacon shop’ …. ‘mix the compost, wiggle it around, soil needs feedin’ just like YOU’ …. ‘ we’re gonna catch a big one, we’re not scared’…. ‘Hello E-vie, hello Lu-cy, hello Nem-ma, hello Felica…liza-beth’ ….. on and on it goes, when we’re out in the car or she’s day dreaming on the loo or pottering round the garden. It makes me sad to think at some point she’ll realise it’s not cool to sing to yourself when you’re out and about, but for now – thank you Sunshine because you’re such a happy place! The staff still manage to be enthusiastic at the nativity every single year, and still shed a tear when the big ones leave – well to me, that says a lot: it’s more than just a job for them.

So let’s start up one for adults! Or at least let’s start a revolution and sing loudly to ourselves in public. It will at least help me get over this painful little fact though, that my weeny girl is ready for shiny shoes and big school. (sigh…)

Pigeon shock

There’s always something you miss when you’re packing – and in our case it was a large pigeon and a cake tin behind the plinth of a kitchen cupboard. Eeeeeww!! Not a dead pet, but a visitor who fell down the chimney. Apologies to anyone who has eaten at our house lately, especially if you were served cake.

Other than that, no big surprises. Thanks to all who expressed concern about my branch. Yes, it got moved safely, along with all the other random bits of nic-nackery. It was really exciting when the lorry arrived - it was just so, well, BIG and SHINY!! Genuinely exciting! The kids got a small ride in it after I convinced the men I wouldn’t sue the company if anything happened.

In fact the removal men were lovely – they checked if anyone needed a cuddly toy before packing the beds (you know how Colin can kick off) and even had time to play with a tiny frog who had hidden illegally in the back of the lorry, in one of the plants. The frog got through customs because he was so cute, and we named him Brooklyn and made him a home. ‘How did the removal men have time for all this?’ I hear you cry. Well it turns out they didn’t, because they didn’t finish until10pm. But at least they were friendly eh?

Moving and Changing

Today we're packing as we’re moving house. Seven years ago we moved over the road. Five years before that, we moved round the corner, so moving a few miles west is very adventurous. Whatever happens it’s been a good experience because it’s forced me to tidy up and clear out. It has also hilighted a number of differences between my husband and myself (like we needed a few more?) but I’ll leave that for another day.

If you are bored this summer I suggest you imagine you’re moving and 'purge the house of extraneous matter' as Bridget Jones said. Chances are, you have more stuff than you think you do. I had a cupboard full of cleaning products for goodness sake, and I’m hardly Anthea Turner.

So we’re not carrying any excess baggage now, and that’s a good feeling. All over West Sussex people are waking up gleefully looking at the stuff they bought from us at the car boot sale a few weeks back. “How did I cope without this shoe rack?”, exclaims tattooed man from Shoreham. “This karaoke machine has brought my whole family back together!” says crazy Glaswegian singing man. “Why did I quibble over this beach hut coat rack, it was worth £1 after all” says Mr. Best-phone-the-wife-to-check. Ahhh, warm feelings. We are glad to have been of assistance.

So, if you come over this summer and see something horrendous, keep your opinions to yourself please – the thing that you’re looking at has been purposefully kept, tidied, packed, moved and unpacked. I hope the removal men are friendly because some of these 'saved things' look like nothing but I am keeping them. An old branch springs to mind. A big stone. A dried seed head. Who can predict what people find precious? If the removal men giggle at my branch I will wish I'd gone with the another company. I certainly won't be sharing the left-over World Cup final cake with them anyway. We shall see...

crowd control

This is Evie giving out those stickers at Bokletsa Bana - the place where the children come from the townships for the afternoon and kick their heels up, run around and play games to their hearts' content. This pic is before she started shouting "Calm DOWN" at them - they were getting a bit over the top. 

family news

Col bagged himself a couple of new wives - they're really cool and they've been a massive help during my Widow Twankey Washerwoman week. 

So we're home. King Shaka International Airport was SHINY - shiny toilets, shiny luggage trolleys, shiny, glittery flooring - cool! We had a long, long day and a longer night but we got back to the UK at 5 am yesterday. I think drizzle and chilliness upon arrival home aids the grieving process - boo hooo. 

When we got back home there was a big welcome banner, a cake and even a meal ready in the fridge among other things - how lucky are we, thanks everyone and we can't wait to see you and we'll try not to bore your heads off.

The boys have just gone to school. They looked sort of wrong in uniform. I have been dreading coaxing them back into socks and shoes, they've loved running free and we all feel a bit glum about that. At the military museum last week they ran around the steam engine on an old war ship, clambering up nearly vertical iron steps and swinging on chains, walking across metal grill platforms, and there was not one notice up saying "Keep off this" or "Step away from that". don't get me wrong, it was not easy viewing as a mother - one child piggy backing another across an iron ledge above your head - but it was nice to have the choice! (By the way lots of the parts were supplied by Howdens in Wallsend so I sent my buddies in Tyne and Wear extra love that day.) 

Another thing that's really noticeable in SA is how the kids just run in and out of the traffic. They do it from the beginning and there's no pavements so I guess they just know what they're doing. One day on a long journey inland we saw 2 really tiny school boys walking to lessons and we stopped to take a photo and wave - then they RAN ACROSS the main road in their bare feet to chat through our car window! We were completely freaking out, I thought they were going to get mown down in front of us!! We had a funny chat with them though and gave them some biscuits. Imagine in England - we'd be thinking 'health and safety/stranger danger/peodophiles/allergies' all in one breath. Kids there, they just grow up quicker. In Lesotho our host told us little girls (always the women!) start carrying the water as soon as they can walk, and in the end they can carry 25 litres each. So how come English kids can't carry their own book bag back to the car after school?!

Well enough of this - I've got washing to do. Evie is very lonely today so I think I'll fulfill her dearest wish expressed on safari, "I hate being on holiday, I just wanna go home and watch Elmo's Christmas Countdown". Ha!! 

It's not over till it's over

It’s our last day and there’s a lot to do. So why did we stay up till silly o’ clock drinking wine and hanging out with our New Best Friends John and Susan who have lent us their flat? There’s a bit of me that wonders if we’ll ever get home. We heard Peyman and family didn’t fly out after all this week, but have been put back to the 10^th. I’m sure that won’t happen to us. But there are still a few hoops of fire to jump through and camouflage nets to crawl under – Durban opened its’ brand new airport today and we heard that even the staff don’t know where things are! So we’ll be one of their first passengers…. if we can find the airport in the first place of course. We haven’t got lost for two days straight now but it’s not easy. Did I mention Durban is in the process of changing all its’ road names? The old names are being changed to Zulu names, which are not on the map of course. Also there’s lots of road works and diversions because they’re sprucing up ready for the world cup. Anyway the plan is that we fly to Johannesburg tomorrow at 10.30, then we wait around at that airport until our elusive night flight at 8pm. That’s an awful lot of rounds of Snap.

We had a special meal today and I gave out certificates of bravery… eg. Evie conquered her fear of jellyfish stings, and took it on the chin when she toppled over and grabbed on to a tree trunk for support, but it turned out to be a huge cactus/ tree with spines sticking out of the trunk – ouch. Finlay has become a brave bodyboarder and at one point ate a tomato. Isaac conquered his fear of talking to people who he doesn’t understand easily, and swam in some deep water. Col rescued us from a frog in the house (in a jug with a towel on top – talk about fortitude) I could go on, but you get the picture.

We have had a blast – there’s many snapshots that come to mind as I write – the lady whose house had fallen on top of her in the night; Pete at the farm in Clarens, showing us his glass blowing in the dark, and then producing a baby elephant out of the flames, perfectly formed with tiny ears rippling back as if it were walking – we were enraptured, it’s a wonder we didn’t cause him to burn himself as we were a very interactive audience; the guy who said our accents sounded like Jamie Oliver; the crocodile man who’d had the shirt ripped off him; the couple who were refugees from The Conga, who’d just lost a sister in crossfire back home; the one armed man who sold us a hat at the Lesotho border; Obeking, the little boy who showed us around Dihlebeng School and, realising he was on to a good thing missing lessons, read out every single bit of work on the walls of every classroom, “OK, so this little girl, she says she’s learning about earthquakes, see?. .… and this little boy he says he is too…”; Gavin and the Clarens crowd around a mighty BBQ, cooking steaks the size of the cushions we put on garden chairs; the potato seller who laughed his head off when the tarpaulin roof gave way and soaked me to the skin with skanky water; the waiter who couldn’t hide his terror when we reported that there was a snake under the table; Gibson, the kids’ first little friend who put his arms around their shoulders and helped them settle in; the Zulu actor saying she didn’t think her suitor was up to scratch, “I no marry you, you is ug!”; Megan and Drew’s daughters tucked up all in a row across the bed, with Evie in the middle, not believing her luck; the kids way back at Bokletsa Bana who thought our white man’s noses were so hilarious because they’re so pointy. Heh heh! People, people everywhere - we’ve loved it.

They’re not like the people at home though – nothing can compete with that kind of quality! Which reminds me – HAPPY WEDDING DAY to the Knights!! X x x x x

hello from the hobo's

Did you know hobo is short for 'Homeward bound'? Which we most certainly are not. It seems that we are the last ones stranded - everyone else we have heard of has made it home. But we are trying to have fun, with almost 100% success! We moved into a flat on Sunday, kindly lent to us by a couple we’d never met. It's our 8^th bed of the trip (11^th if you count beds we have left and returned to! I worked this out on a long journey - sad I know.) To celebrate that it is our last bed, allegedly, I unpacked and hung everything up. Yey! We have slowly got the hang of Durban since, but we have got lost many many times too. I have made an effort to put the crime stories to the back of my mind, and anyway when you are among people who live here you just have to get on with it. So we have.

On Sunday we went to church and had lunch with Drew and Megan who were hosting Julian Adams – a bloke we have seen from afar and never met - who has a gift for bringing in the immediacy of God – well exciting. Our family had a series of mishaps throughout church, with Evie falling on to the corner of a metal screen just as it started. She had a yellow/green bump the size of a walnut on her head with a small nick on top. Eeeeeeew!! But by the time I picked her up from the kids club she was jumping up and down on the top of a climbing frame as if nothing had happened. Isaac was bleeding from both toes (football) and then Fin came to me bleeding from the back of a head (tree). It’s never dull. And it made sure everyone got to know us.

We met up with Peyman and Diane from Worthing yesterday at a water park. It was a cool place, really well designed eg. As you floated around the Easy River on a rubber ring, you’d float past the sharks in their tank from the aquarium. There was a water chute that used rubber boats that fitted our whole family inside so we whizzed down there with extra glee. So much fun. It was a bad day to be a muslim though – I felt sorry for the women completely covered up except their eyes, how boiling hot and bored they must have been. And even the guys going down the slides etc – in long trousers and tunics all clinging and wrinkled in the wet.

We have had some good chats with the kids in Durban because it is as if all the extremes we’ve seen round Africa are condensed in to one big melting pot, plus a few different populations thrown in too. At the traffic lights you get people begging at the car window – sometimes holding a baby or pointing to their disability. Our children say we should give them something, but if we did that every time we'd soon run out of money. We've talked about how poverty is very complicated. In Lesotho it seemed as if women were holding the whole show together. It's the women chopping wood, carrying stuff by the roadside, babies on their back, working all day then caring for the family. We met so many kids who were home alone for the day cos mum or aunty is working (even making bricks - so physically demanding). Where are the men? "Drinking" they'd say. (Or AWOL. Or dead. Or HIV+). It's a huge problem that we have just brushed alongside for a few weeks and observed, and I guess our children will have a very black and white view of it, like children do. There are many issues back home but they are more hidden than here, so we've concentrated our chats around what our response will be back in Worthing. Child 2's idea: "Get everyone to come to church then they will hear about love and nocturnal life*" Hmmmm, maybe...

*eternal life

it's not so bad

... and a semi circle

We've made the 4 or 5 drive back to Durban after all! In the end our car hire has ended up dictating our time here, as the latest figure we were quoted turned out to be missing a zero off the end - well almost. So we had to leave leafy Clarens and come back here to get the car back to the airport and pick up a smaller model. Hopefully that is the last big drive we'll do for a long, long time. (Although the times tables are sounding more solid!)

Great to hear my mate Becky is back on English turf and that Debbie is enjoying free entry at Sea World! It's such a funny time I can't wait to swap stories. It sounds fab but it's also a pressure. Our children are totally disorientated - they don't know what day of the week it is or where they are, and we've had some odd conversations about what's happening, "Well we don't exactly know, but we might go to X's house, you know the one with the 2 big dogs... no, not those dogs, the one who had the little girl... no not that little girl, she lives by the sea, no the one who lives in Lesotho, whose dad had a hairy jumper"

For us it's been a bit of a roller coaster - hopes dashed then a great result, then a sudden change, then a BINGO moment. We had two great things in one afternoon today though - the hire company waived a fee (at last, some mercy!!) and we arrived at Drew and Megan's again without knowing quite where we were staying and it turns out we're staying here the weekend - Sing Hosannas! Kids are running around (7 of them altogether) with spears, Col's playing table tennis and later on we're crashing in on their friends' evening - chilli and DVD's. On Sunday we're moving in to somebody's flat. It's weird to feel so vulnerable but every small kindness feels magnified when you are. I've lost count of the times this trip when I've said to someone 'we'd love to return the favour one day'.

So the immediate future's bright. The sun is out. We're all well. There's a craft market on Saturdays!!

Busy doing nothing, working the whole day through

It's been lovely to hear from folks these last few days as we feel far from home. Harold and Betty phoned me from their summer house in Lancing - hurray! We are so disappointed to miss Luke and Ellie's wedding and we want full reports on it, especially the best man's speech.

We are doing OK over here, we've had a change in pace to say the least, not like all the squeezing in of holiday activity during last week. We were a bit weary yesterday after more travelling and the endless sorting out of stuff. The day passed easily - I did a ton of washing and the children were scrubbed - a bit like sheep lining up at the sheep dip. They emerged looking shiny and much less tanned. Evie was the most dramatically transformed, from Stig of the Dump to Pocohontas' exotic little sister. We went out to try and sort out the car (still ongoing) and by the time we came back all the washing outside was damp again - agh!! It seems night falls very quickly here and also Autumn is in full swing. Maybe I shouldn't have given quite as many clothes away when we were in Maseru. . .

Clarens feels very much like home to us and as I've been wandering it's easy to chat as we have a story as to why we're here. There are shops that remind me a bit of the shop in The Waltons, and there are many many dogs that we now count as close friends. The best way to describe it is to liken it to Arundel, in terms of scale and quiantness. It is set amongst the mountains in the Dihlabeng region of the Free State. It is a hub of artistic interest, with more art galleries than you could shake a stick at. It's the kind of place where you could buy something incredibly beautiful to hang on your wall, or something ingenious from a self-assembled craft stall, but you'd struggle to buy a pair of trainers or a cheese grater. It also has the amazing church which I described when we first arrived here - a community which has people coming and going from all over the world. Why here, in the middle of nowhere? Because of people with vision and faith - it's fascinating really. One gets so frustrated with the town planners of Worthing, but I won't start harping on about that now. (One day though!) This church has actualised much that we are hoping to do in our church and local community back home, so we have a strong link with the people here.

Today the kiddiwinks and I went for a walk and shared a chelsea bun, then posted Nanny's 70th birthday card (sorry to miss that too!) which of course was sent by airmail (!?). On the way back I concluded that adults and children are not designed to be together 24/7 like this for longer than 3 weeks. We spent ages looking for a dropped Lego trophy which is helpfully shaped and coloured like a rolled-up autumn leaf. Then Evie said to me, "Mum... our heads are like marbles aren't they? Just really massive big marbles....". Meanwhile I discovered that one boy had drawn on the other's chest before coming out, and that they had invented alter egos which involved extra shouting in the name of being rappers. Ho hum..

I sought out some adult company later on, and, more importantly, borrowed some DVD's!! Result. The kids are doing a bit of work too, mostly intensive times tables and art. The daughter of our absent hosts has an art book which we are using - how handy is that - and we're surrounded by inspiration, not least her art which is stunning. I'll ask permission to put some on here when I get home (when the dust settles - arf arf)

Full circle

OK so we've come full circle, and we're back in Clarens in the pouring rain. We would have been on the plane now but for the ash cloud. It's been a few days of challenges - emotional, practical and financial. But the decision is that we wait for the next flight Virgin can offer us (2nd May now!) so we're booked on that. Virgin don't seem to be too forthcoming on alternative arrangements unless we have thousands of pounds to spend. No wonder Richard Branson always looks so happy. We had to pay £225 just to postpone our internal flight and we also had to extend the car hire. But the good news is that we've got free accommodation, we're self catering and, let's not forget, I'm with my favourite 4 people on earth. We hear stories of folks being put up in 5 star hotels but we also hear stories of folks being really stuck. I can only imagine the media coverage back home - is it all people on airport camp beds, cradling babies and looking ravaged? We're out of it really, although if Jeremy Vine phoned me I'd definitely ham it up a bit, it'd be rude not to. (I could threaten to pull Richard Branson's beard in a fit of rage)

So anyway we came back to Clarens because our New Best Friends Gavin and Lynne are away and they offered us the house. Great. And we plan to return to Durban next week when we've sorted ourselves out a bit. I feel safe here and Col's hoping to work - I didn't fancy navigating Durban alone as we ended up in some pretty rough bits yesterday. (Even at the entrance to the aquarium they searched our bags. And there was a sign up. "No firearms. No picnic hampers. Enjoy your stay". What damage could be done with a picnic hamper?)

I'm not sure what we'll actually DO here in Clarens though - a very very big jigsaw perhaps? I'll probably feel more creative in the morning. It's nice to be doing half our time here, half there - that way we're not abusing anyone's kindness too much, I mean who really wants a family of 5 camping out with them for a full fortnight? We are blown away by peoples' kindness, we feel part of a very big and wonderful family and I don't really know what we'd have done if it were any different.

Today a great mission was accomplished. We found the best milkshakes in the world, recommended to us by Pete the glass blower. He said if we ever went in to Durban we must go to a certain Mall and just ask around and they'd know where we meant. So that's what we did - it was a very serious task and I can report that YES, they really were The Best. Belgian Chocolate flavour. Even more delicious: Broadwater School phoned my mobile during the quest to ask about the whereabouts of our sons! Can you imagine the glee of said sons? Double jubilation. Sorry Mr Tostevin, we did try and run through some times tables tonight on another endless car journey, honest.

In the mall I went in to an Indian shop full of beautiful saris and was suddenly aware of the state we looked. The kids are a mass of grazes and scrapes, their feet are black from running around outside, and I look like I've been camping out. 4 week old nail varnish on toes, hair "inexplicable" as Chandler said to Monica, and suddenly we were in designer-ville. It is as if we're ping pong balls being bounced around between totally different worlds. One day you're in a mud hut, painfully aware of looking so rich, carrying your digital camera and bottled water, next day you're getting pitying glances from exquisitely dressed sales assistants. It's certainly a land of extremes. Like today - we woke up by the ocean - coconut trees and lizards, and we're going to bed in the mountains - nearly ran over an owl if you can believe that?!

I hear Leighton bought more food for the gerbils. What else is he up to? Playing the piano to his heart's content I hope, maybe the builders are singing along. Enjoy yourself Leighton. Have wild parties, live a little! All I ask is that you save me a tea bag, I miss PG tips.

Message in a bottle

StuCk in AfRica.Stop.PleaSe feeD GerbiLs.StOp.

You know when it's time to go home. a) We're all in our penultimate pair of pants. b) Col sneezed and popped open the fastener at the top of his trousers.

It's meant to be the last day of our trip but last night we heard our flight tomorrow is cancelled. Husband then made a series of phone calls which I only heard one side of': "..... 1st of MAY?? You're kidding...... Paris? No, I can't do that with the family..... A train..from Spain..? (nervous laughter)...." I love a bit of drama.

Then there was the insurance. All parties said it wasn't up to them, or they just had an answer machine on. Or they'd just gone home! I sometimes wonder if we'll ever have a straight forward insurance conversation where they say "Oh don't worry, we'll cover that! That's why you pay us insurance! *wink*". Even having the car written off by two drunken Polish people with a bottle of whiskey in their laps - even this is not straight forward.

However, we're having loads of fun. We went body boarding yesterday and today we saw sharks in the aquarium at Durban before hooking up with old friends Megan and Drew Land which has been lovely. We are just going to have to wait and see about getting home. 1st May seems a bit excessive and the words "home schooling" have been mentioned (Pam falls to knees and wails skyward, "Nooooooooooo!!!!)

We're meant to fly from Durban to Jo'burg tomorrow anyhow and then we'll wait and see. We've had offers of places to stay and we might see if we can extend the hire of our car in order to do that, as everyone is quite dispersed here. Hakuna Matata and all that!! We're honestly fine so nobody must worry x

The perfect crime

We’ve been making like David Bellamy these last few days, on safari in a game park called Hluhluwe. It’s best pronounced if you puff your cheeks out as if you were doing Donald Duck. On our first morning we woke up to find monkeys on the balcony, and we watched delightedly as they ate lots of bananas and jumped around on our chairs outside. I thought to myself, ‘This was so worth the money. Loads more fun than buying a few more panes of double glazing.’ My sentiments changed 10 minutes later when the boys discovered it was OUR FOOD they were eating!! They’d been in to the kitchen somehow and made a right old mess, nibbling bits of apples and ripping in to the bread, leaving remnants of food all over the work top and floor. We have no idea how they did it, because all the doors and windows were shut, and despite the efforts of all the kids’ investigations, including photographing the evidence, we have had to conclude that the monkeys are special agents with secret powers. “The perfect crime”, Colin said. We were robbed by sweet little monkeys. And we didn’t even see it coming.

We actually had a stressful start to the whole safari thing the night before as we arrived in the dark, quarter of an hour before the gates close (whether you’re booked in or not!) after travelling since 7.30 that morning. Then we had to drive through the park, which is about the size of an English county, whilst Col explained to kids that it wasn’t like a zoo and we probably wouldn’t see things very close up – then Eeeeek! He shrieked like a girl as we nearly knocked in to 2 enormous rhino chomping away next to the road. Shortly afterwards we did the same with a couple of elephants. This time we wound the windows down and watched in silence. Everything was going well until child C slipped inside the car, clattered loudly and frightened them. Col then laughed in the elephants’ faces (nervous laughter) as the biggest elephant snorted and started towards us. I think he felt Col was mocking him. At this point Col (Terry Nutkins) slammed his foot down and did a slight wheel spin – helpful – as we made off in the dark, wheels squealing. Maybe we are more suited to Butlins than this kind of holiday. Anyway, we settled in the next day and saw loads of amazing animals with the help of a trained man in a jeep – it was awesome.

We are nearer Durban now, gradually getting nearer to the airport, staying by the beach in a place called Ballito. It is a bit more sub-tropical here so it’s full of all my favourite plants. Banana trees, palms, hibiscus – I love all that.

I’ve been thinking whilst I’ve been so far from the internet – blogging is a bit weird as you only write about all the cool stuff. It’s a bit like our memories of things I suppose, when we filter out all the tat. And the reality of travelling is that there’s loads of annoying bits. Here is a taste of them, so I can’t be accused of being unreal.

Boredom; Losing car keys in middle of nowhere and having to turn out all luggage twice; Driving for hours and hours on end; Arriving at Bollito flat in the dark and not being able to get in, no staff, and yet not being able to get out because of electric gates. (Laptop out of battery. Phone not accepting incoming calls); Singing ‘Is this the way to Amarillo’ one time too many in the car; Waiting for things in the heat; Listening to bickering in the back of the car. Eg. Every time 3 treats are given out they have the same argument:

“First is the worst, second’s the best, third’s the one with hairy chest”

“I don’t WANNA HAIRY CHEST!!!!”

“OK, OK, I’ll have a hairy chest, you be first”

“I wanna be second” etc etc;

Living with ants in the kitchen; Late nights, early mornings, disrupted sleep in between; Driving for hours looking for lions and not finding any lions; Shops being shut when the staff promised they’d be open; Sunburn; Not finding recognisable food in a supermarket (I bought the kids a chicken’s foot each – heh heh!); Bites; Moths, insects; Child-free couples not appreciating the joys of other peoples’ children enhancing their safari trip of a lifetime!!

It goes without saying that all the great stuff is way better and much more plentiful than any of this. But there, I’ve let you in on the truth.

Into the wilds...

We're in Maseru again after another long journey with the aid of everything ranging from SClub7's, "Reach" to The Killers to Shirley Bassey's "Kiss me honey honey" (a real low point). Since I last wrote we've spent a few days in the middle of nowhere - up and down dirt tracks going round the mountains, which was great fun for those in the back of the pick up truck. My boys were allowed on there for one return journey in the dark, so all we could see was their white faces when our headlights caught them at the right angle - they were hyped!! While we were out in the villages we joined with the locals in activities like football, parachute games and visiting, then in the evening (which was exceptionally beautiful as the sun went down) we were very privileged to witness the popping up of a brand new church. They all crammed in to a tiny room and there was much expectation for the future together - the only downer was that they could only jump up and down on the spot as there wasn't much space! I should mention that at every place we go people are keen to pray for the town and church in Worthing. (Yes, really! They pray for the nations here as a matter of course.) Oh, and there was a bloke playing a makeshift banjo which was made with some kind of biscuit tin with a strip of wood for a fret board, and 3 rubbery strings!

The village where we were based was also very rural, and the community put us all up (the whole team) amongst themselves. I heard of one lady who shared her bed with a girl while her sister, who usually shares the bed, slept on the floor. We were lucky enough to be with a western family who served us so well. We were all in one room with a porta-potty and our only challenge was the pitch black (which turned out to be enough of a challenge for us this time around!) The family do have electricity from a solar panel, but they use it sparingly so we could hardly bleat, "we usually have the landing light on at home!". In the morning we went to fetch water with them and visited various pigs and chickens around their neighbourhood. They have a toddler and a small 3 year old and were just like us so I think our experience with them has been easier for our own children to relate to. Again, we tried carrying the water on our heads (!) and then poured it in to their big tank where it gets filtered. Phew - hard work. On the way we saw shepherds, a lizard, and a pile of cakes made from cow manure, used for starting fires once it's dried in the sun. Our hostess explained lots of things to us during the morning.

Here are some of those things:

There is no word for 'please' in Sosotho.

In their culture you don't offer things like breakfast or a drink or whatever, you wait to be asked. (The exact opposite of what I spend my energy telling our kids - they loved this!)

They take great care of their homes, usually emptying them out for cleaning daily (which explains the luggage piled up in the shacks we'd visited - they must keep all their stuff in there for easy removal).

The people hosting our team would probably have been cleaning all day, including polishing the insides of their pans for goodness sake.

They take great care of their clothes (which explains the iron and ironing board in our hostel at Maseru).

Finally, in the Bosotho culture, like many African cultures, people think corporately, not individually. There's hardly any 'mine' and 'yours'. This sounds idyllic but it means that somebody who tries to get ahead may be brought down by those around him - eg. A guy they know planted a whole patch of veggies, which his neighbour then burnt down. Every culture has its' challenges I guess.

It was a very special 24 hours for the Nichols but it was also really nice to leave the dust and mud, and get back to Clarens to get showered and eat chips - yey! When we arrived back at the farm the kids were SO excited to see the dogs there, Georgie and Bentley, I realised how sad they'll be to leave next week. Eeek!